How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
