i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
