you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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