You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
