he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We just shotgunned beers for America
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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