i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
