I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
