i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
