the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Every concussion has its silver lining
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
