Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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