Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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