i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
