The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
