im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
