He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
