i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
