We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
