A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
