i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
