yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
