On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
