Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
My vagina just recognized that song.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
