she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
