i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
