OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
accomplished twins. life is a go
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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