my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
this is an emotional support booty call
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
