You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
