I'm so fucking centered right now
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
