I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
