If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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