Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
