Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
