She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
