I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize