I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
