I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
