okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize