in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
