this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
