Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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