I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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