she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
