kristin has been a bad kristin
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
