Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
