Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
