Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
