Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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