Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
