So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
