Small penises have feelings too.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I supernannyed him into submission
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
