I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
