how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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