We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
