hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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