i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
