I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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