I wish my penis had an off switch
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
