All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
